Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

(or why I will never really be a runner)


I haven't told many people yet, but maybe saying it out loud (publishing it in my blog?) will make me actually get my fat ass out of bed in the morning. I am planning to run the P.F. Changs Rock 'n Roll half marathon in January. Yes, I have run a marathon, and a half marathon in the past, as well as some 5 and 10 K's. No, not on the same day and no, I wasn't really a runner back then either. The last time I ran or raced was over 4 years ago, in case you were wondering. Now that Scott and I have decided to be done reproducing, I no longer have an excuse to hoard fat on my body in preparation for incubating another human. So it's time to get my pre-prego shape back.

Since most of my day is spent chasing after two small children (does that count as actually running?) and since it is so fuh-reeeeaking hot here my plan is to beat them out of bed and beat the heat by getting up at 5:00 to go for a daily run. I am a morning person. I look forward to the solitude that running (imagine air quotes around the word running here) provides and it's pretty much the only down time I get. Plus, I like running. Period.

Here is why my plan is far from foolproof:

1. When Scott travels and I am left as the sole caretaker in my home, I can't exactly take off for an hour jaunt around the neighborhood just because my kids are still sleeping and won't know I'm gone.

2. When he is here and I have the chance to follow through, I tend to bypass the snooze button and just go straight for off. Maybe if I hit it really fast it will be like it never sounded in the first place. My excuse will be, "Darn it! Forgot to set the alarm again! Well, too hot now and the kids are up! It'll have to wait for tomorrow." (It's not like I ever even go back to sleep after turning it off either. I just don't want to get out of bed!)

3. Lately, I would rather blog than run, especially because the former reduces the risk that I will be reported to Child Protective Services (see excuse #1).

4. I have never really been a runner.

So here's my new plan: Panic!! because

a) I just spent $89 to replace the running shoes that I hadn't worn for 4 years. (Yes, the above picture is a view of my new running shoes on my feet as I lie in bed pretending to have not set the alarm! No, I didn't wear them to bed so that I could jump up and be ready to go. That would be silly! I turned off the alarm and couldn't get back to sleep because I was thinking of running but didn't want to get up yet. And I was thinking, "this could make a great post." So I got up to put the shoes on and find the camera, then laid back down to take the picture. Pretty clever, huh?)

b) It is only... well I don't really know how many days until P.F. Changs because I'm not that good at math but, it's like, the second weekend in January which is only 4 months away! (See, not that good.)

c) I have only been able to run (again, air quotes) about 3 miles. I have a long way to go (literally).

d) Did I mention my fat ass?

Alright. It is 7:10, not that hot out yet, Scott is home, I'm outta here. Wish me luck!


Update at 8:15: Didn't run. Too hot!

Update at 11:30: Off to the airport. Running shoes didn't fit in suitcase.